Tips for a Tear-Free Drop Off

 

Don't Worry

As a kindergarten classroom teacher I just want to reassure you that it is perfectly normal for your child to experience anxiety when you drop them off at school. It could be the first day of school or the 15th day of school. This doesn't mean your child doesn't love school. It does not mean that he or she is not having fun or well cared for. It's a normal reaction to being separated from loved ones! Here are some tips for you!

1. Make it Quick

Drop off time should take 1-2 minutes max. Give your child a hug at the door and encourage them to enter the classroom independently and get unpacked and ready for the day. This is crucial and so helpful for your child's teacher. 

The quicker you can make this ritual, the less likely your child is to cry! Waiting for your child to stop crying will usually drag the tears out even longer. 

2. Well Rested 

Believe it or not, preschoolers and kindergartners need anywhere from 10 to 12 hours of sleep at night. Pick an appropriate bedtime for your child and stick with it. Have a bedtime routine that includes a warm bath, snuggles, and story time. Oftentimes kids will cry at drop off simply because they are overtired and need more sleep. 

3. Don't Bribe or Threaten

Don't bribe or threaten your child to stay at school or to quit crying. Don't offer to go get an ice cream after school if they agree to stay. Don't promise them a new toy if they go to school. And, don't threaten. Don't threaten to punish them if they don't quit crying. Try to be positive and excited about the school experience and hopefully they will become more positive about it as well!

4. Have a Ritual

Establish a soothing goodbye ritual. It could be a hug, a secret handshake, a whispered message, or a high five. Do it day after day and make it your special way to say "See you later!" Like a hello ritual is great for pick up time or when first see your child after school.

5. Read The Kissing Hand

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn is a wonderful book for the night before school or anytime your child is anxious about leaving you. 

Talk about the story after reading it. Ask your child:

• How did Chester feel when his mommy left him at school? 
• How do you feel when I leave you?
• What did Chester do so he could still feel close to his mom?
• What special symbol could we come up with to feel close to each other when we're apart?

I actually read this book on the first day of school and then "Chester" leaves our class clues around the school to tour the building. 

6. Cherries and Pits

Here's a wonderful way to help your child discuss his or her day. It makes a great after school ritual. 

Explain the cherry on top of an ice cream sundae is the best thing about it. When something is good we say, "That was the cherry on top!" 

Explain that the pit is the seed in the middle of the cheery and it isn't meant to be eaten. It wouldn't taste good. When something we don't really like happens we say, "That was the pits!"

At the end of each school day, ask "What was the pits today?" Give your child a chance to express their opinions, and be sure you make them feel heard and valued. 

Then end with a positive. Ask them, "What was the cherry on top of your day today?" Celebrate this good thing. 

Be sure to share your pit and your cherry for your own day with them as well in child appropriate words. 

With these tips you can tame the tears.